I Don't Want to Hurt Anymore
by AusllyisForever
Summary: Austin's depressed. Ally wants to know why so that she can help him. Will Austin let her in? *Two-shot* Warning: Self-Harm
1. Chapter 1

NEW STORY YAY.

Like I said on the last Authors Note on 'Lullaby', this is to raise awareness for Self-Harm, so the plotline is about self-harming. So If you guys dont like reading these types of stories, then dont read it. :)

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything but the plotline.**

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I don't Want to Hurt Anymore

_Scars. _Each scar has a different story behind them. They appear for lots of different reasons, like if you are in a fire, or a car accident. And they don't disappear. They don't fade over time. They stay with you forever. 

You can tell a lot about a person from their scars. Scars on your _wrists. _Self-Harm. Indicating that that person may have experienced something that no human being should. Scars from self-harming is caused by many different reasons. Bullying, family trouble, financial problems. A lot of the time, it may also end with _suicide_. Horrible, I know. But sadly, it's true.

I'm Ally Dawson. This is the story _of Austin Monica Moon. _

**Austin's POV**

I let the blood drip from my arm as I set the sharp silver knife down on the bathroom counter. I _really_ need to stop doing this. I honestly want to. But I just feel like I can't. In a weird way, it helps. See, my parents are never really here. They're always working, and when they are home; they're arguing. We're not a big family. Its only my mom, dad and me. We've never really been the _close_ sort of family. My parents are never really there when I need them. They don't know I cut. _Noone_ does. The only supportive people I have in my life is Ally. She knows that i've been going through a hard time. I've only recently been showing it. But she doesn't know that I _cut. _

I run the cold water on my arm when I realized it was 9:00am. I quickly wrap my arm in a small bandage and put on a long slieved t-shirt to hide it. I grab my leather jacket and started to walk to school.

"Hey Austin" I turned around to see the most beautiful girl i've ever seen.  
"Hey Ally" Okay. Yeah, I like Ally. I've always have. So what.  
"You okay?"  
"Uh, yeah, why wouldn't I be?"  
"You just look like you havent gotten much sleep. That, and your eyes look a bit bloodshot. Are you sure you're okay?" Honestly, I feel like shit. I really havent been getting a lot of sleep lately. I've just had so many things on my mind. I can't let her know that though. I dont want her to worry.

"Ally, I'm fine. Really." I hate lying to her. But she can't know. She just can't.  
"Okay. Well if you need to talk, you know where to find me" and with that, she walked off.

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**Ally's POV**

I know something's up with Austin. He's lost that glow in his eyes. He's never really up for anything anymore. I mean, Yeah he'll still come by to watch a movie or to write a song. But it's just not the same. It's not the Austin I love. _** Yes. I have feelings for Austin. It's not that big of a deal. **_

I'm worried about him. I know he tells me he's fine, but I know he's not. He tells me not to worry, but I just can't help it. It's who I am, I worry. And anyway, how could I not worry? He tells everyone that he is fine when he clearly isnt. He has bags under his eyes, every time I see him, his eyes are usually blood shot and his eyelashes are damp. You can just about make out the faded tear trails down his cheak. I'm not stupid, something's going on. I know it, ANYONE can see it. And i'm going to find out.

I pick up my phone and start to write a text message;

**To: Austin x :**

**Hey Austin, it's Ally. I need to talk to you. Meet me at Sonic Boom whenever.**

**To: Ally-Cat :**

**Yeah okay i'll be over in 5.**

He doesn't want me to know. I know he doesn't want me to know. It's not hard to tell. But I can see that whatever it is, it's breaking him. I hate seeing him like this. He hardly even smiles anymore. Well, he smiles. But they're not real. Not genuine. Completely and utterly _fake. _And _that_ hurts.

Just then, Austin walks in through the door of the Practice Room.

"Hey Ally" he walks in as cheerful as ever and smiles. _Fake. _  
I dont smile back and he see's this.  
"So what did you want to talk about?" _I haven't even thought of what I was going to say. _

I take his arm to pull him over to the couch when I hear him wince.  
"You okay?" _no. He's not._  
"Yeah, fine" he says as he walks over to sit himself on the couch.

I go over to sit next to him and he turns to me.

"So, what was is that you needed to talk about?" I turn to face him.  
"Austin, I know something's up"  
"What are you talking about? I told you, i'm fine." is he serious...  
"No you're not. I know you're not. Every time I see you, you have bags under your eyes, your eyes are blood shot, clearly from crying and don't deny it Austin because I can just about make out the faded tear stains on your cheeks, your smiles aren't even real anymore, they're just put on and you expect me to believe you when you say you're fine?" He just looks to the floor.  
"You know that you can talk to me about anything. I want to help" he looks up. His eyes flashed with anger. 

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP OUT OF IT. I HAVE TOLD YOU COUNTLESS OF TIMES THAT I AM FINE!" _eh, no._

"WELL YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT. AUSTIN, I SEE THAT YOU'RE HURTING AND WHATEVER IS GOING ON, IT IS BREAKING YOU INSIDE. IM NOT STUPID, I CAN SEE THAT. AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT KILLS ME TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS!" His head is now in his head and I can tell that he's choking back his sobs. He leans backwards on the couch and starts to move his arms upwards so he's running his hands through his hair, causing his slieves to roll up a bit, showing a white bandage wrapped around his left arm.

"AUSTIN!" I gasp. It can't be what I think it is.

He looks at me confused, until he see's where i'm looking. His eyes go wide and he goes to pull his slieve back down, but I stop him. He just looks at me.

I roll his left slieve back up and start unwrapping the bandage carefully. When the bandage was fully off, I gasp. Tears surfacing my eyes. I wasn't expecting to see this from a boy he's usually so happy and cheerful. I look up at him to see him looking straight into my eyes, hurt and worry in his. I look back down and I run my finger tips over his scars gently.

"Ally" I looked up to see tears running down his cheeks. I placed my hands on his face and wiped his tears away with my thumbs. I leaned my head onto his and looked into his eyes.

"It's gonna be okay." he closed his eyes and looked away, shaking his head.  
"Hey" I gently take his face in my hands again, making him turn to face me. He still looked down with his eyes. "Look at me". He looked up.

"I'm here for you, no matter what. Okay?" "Okay." **(1)**

My forehead was still resting on his. We were looking deep into each others eyes. His was tearful, full of hurt, worry and a little bit of hope. He glanced down to my lips, then back to my eyes. I did the same. I realized that we were leaning in slowly. Our noses were touching. I was about to say something, to stop anything from happening. I was about to pull away. But I didnt get to. He wouldn't let me. He placed his hands on the small of my back and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to kiss back.

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**(1) Sound Familiar ;)**

FIRST CHAPTER DONE. I'm kind of proud of it. It's only a two-shot, really but yeah. I don't really like the end to be honest. Im glad they kissed like c'mon its Auslly. Auslly kissing is great. But I just don't like how it happened and the intro to the story was kind of lame but it's 2:45am so i'm tired. HOPE YOU LIKED IT ANYWAY. Tell me if you liked it or not ^.^ I'll update as soon as I can but I have revision to do so yeah.

And if you guys want you can always follow me on instagram and/or twitter ;)

**Instagram: jodiexr5**  
**Twitter: R5is2fab4u**

PLEASE REVIEW :D I like reviews. ;)

~ e


	2. Not a Chapter

NOT A CHAPTER

GUYS. I know you've been reviewing and asking me to update, and I'm sorry that this isnt a chapter, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I wont be updating for a few days because of my GCSE exams, my first GCSE exam starts tomorrow (well its around 1:50am so basically its today but anway) so i've been revising. Im still revising. I have two exams in just a few hours basically so yeah i've been studying for them, I also had to write or type up an essay for English and It had to be aproximately 350 words... mine was 599 ;) but I promise that I will try to update as SOON as I can. I have an English and an R.E exam tomorrow/today, then on wednesday I have an ICT exam and then next tuesday I have another R.E exam...

I'm actually bricking it for my R.E exam though because it's Marks Gospel and I cannot do Marks Gospel -_- But my next R.E exam is Ethics so thats better. I prefer Ethics its easier and more interesting. BUT AGAIN, SORRY THAT THIS ISNT A CHAPTER. BUT I WILL DEFINITELY UPDATE BOTH LULLABY AND IDWTHA ASAP..

Wish me luck on my exams? I'm going to need all the luck I can get x'D

-Jodie xP


	3. Chapter 3

**HI GUYS OMG IM SO BAD AT THIS IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER LIKE I SAID I WOULD OMG. I know I said that I would update as soon as my exams were over and they have been over for a while omg. BUT IM UPDATING NOW BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I GUESS. **

**So yeah I wont find out how I did in my GCSE exams until August but fingers crossed I done okay. I'm studying Creative Media Production in September if I pass at least 4 GCSE's which is like, I get to edit things and make a music video and stuff and it sounds awesome tbh. **

**THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING PATIENT AND AGAIN IM SO SORRY THAT I HAVENT UPDATED IN SO LONG. I dont know if this chapter will be any good because I fell off my sisters horse on Saturday so my back is quite sore, it's not as bad as it was; its getting better but its still a bit sore but i'll try to give you guys a good chapter :) **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANYTHING but the plot line**

**Previously; **

**"My forehead was still resting on his. We were looking deep into each others eyes. His was tearful, full of hurt, worry and a little bit of hope. He glanced down to my lips, then back to my eyes. I did the same. I realized that we were leaning in slowly. Our noses were touching. I was about to say something, to stop anything from happening. I was about to pull away. But I didnt get to. He wouldn't let me. He placed his hands on the small of my back and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to kiss back."**

Ally's POV:

Even though Austin knows that I know he's not okay, he still pretends that I havent found out about him cutting. He still puts on a fake smile everyday, when he laughs; it's fake. I'm his best friend, of course I can tell and i'm pretty sure he knows that I can tell. We havent even talked about the kiss. I've tried to talk about it with him a few times but he just shakes it off... I guess he's pretending that that hasnt happened either...

"Hey Als" he enters Sonic Boom with a smile, and yes. It's fake. I give him a knowing look and his smile falters and he drops his head and shakes it. He looks up at me, only with his eyes.

"Look, Ally. I know. I know you know that i'm not happy. That i'm not okay but i'm trying to put on a brave face okay?"

"You shouldn't have to"

"What?"

"You shouldn't have to put on a fake smile. You should be happy." He looked down again and put his head in his hands. Something I realize that he only really does when he's stressed or getting angry and upset.

"Austin please. Just talk to me... about anything please" He looks up again, tears and anger in his eyes.

"ALLY I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE I _CAN'T _TELL YOU." I felt the tears prickling my eyes. I looked at the floor while he continued to yell.

"YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M NOT OKAY. I KNOW YOU WANT TO HELP ME I GET THAT, BUT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS WITH YOU!"

"WELL THEN TELL ME ONE THING, AUSTIN." Tears are now running down my cheeks. Austin's breathing heavy from yelling. He looks at me, still panting, tears running down his cheeks as well as mine, but he's still angry.

"THE KISS" His breathing was slowing down, and his eyes softened the slightest.

"TELL ME WHY YOU KISSED ME IF YOU HATE ME"

**Austin's POV**

My breathing stopped. Is she serious?

"WHAT!?" she turned around so that her back was facing me, I knew she was crying.

"YOU THINK I HATE YOU!?" she did move or say anything. I walked over to her and gently turned her around so that she was facing me and not the wall.

"Ally, I don't know where the _hell_ you got that stupid idea from, but I _do_ know this. I do _NOT _hate you and I _NEVER_ will." she still wont look at me. ugh.

I chuckled and she looked straight into my eyes. Cheeks wet from the tears. I smiled a little and wiped her tears with my thumb, just like she did to me.

"I kissed you because I _love_ you." her eyes didn't move from mine, but I know she didn't believe me.

"Am I going to have to show you? Because I will" she just sighed. The Silent Treatment? Really? So stubborn.

"Alllyyyyy"

**Ally's POV**

I dont know why I said that. I know he doesnt hate me. I dont even know why i'm giving him the silent treatment. I dont know if I believe him when he said he loves me. I'm really not sure of a lot of things right now.

"Okay fine, i'll just _show_ you" and the next thing I felt was a pair of lips on mine.

We continued to kiss for a while, my arms somehow managed to wrap around his neck and his hands around my waist.

We pulled away slowly, but never broke eye contact.

I ran my arms down from his neck, down past his arms, until I reached his wrists. I pulled them away from my waist and gently rolled up his slieves.

I was quite surprised from what I saw.

No new cuts. Of course, he still had scars, and ones that looked recent, but no new cuts from the last time I seen them. I gently ran my fingers over his wrists, and when I looked up at him, he just smiled at me.

"See, Ally? I'm getting better. Slowly, but i'll get there. Yes, there will be days were i'm down, and it will be hard but I know that there's other ways to make me feel happier, and i've already found one"

"And what's that?"

"_You_"...

**WELL THATS IT OVER... **

**Tbh i'm not really sure about this chapter, I hadnt really thought about this one but I was already so late in posting one so yeah SORRY AGAIN. Did you enjoy it? **

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